Here it is...finally-our testimony!

So last week, I think on Tuesday, our Pastor called and asked if we would share our testimony. We had a Thanksgiving service yesterday and he wanted us to share our story and hopefully help someone...

Well, we of course said yes (even though my stomach went into knots the second he asked) and at 12:30 Sunday morning(we had NO CLUE what we were going to say before the morning of service) here is what just poured out of my heart...

At 19 ½ weeks pregnant we found out at a routine ultrasound that our baby to be was going to be born with a rare congenital heart defect, Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. The left side of his heart was not there. It never grew. He was going to be born with only half of a heart. We were given no hope by the doctor that read the ultrasound-in fact he said that we should terminate Elijah because he would have no quality of life and we only had about a week to make up our minds…but this was our son. Termination was never an option. We had several family members fight us about “keeping” him, but we chose life for our child.

Devastation…that is what set in, in both of us. For the next several months we were scared, confused and alone. We struggled with our marriage, families, and most of all God. We were so angry and just didn’t understand why God would “do this” to our son. We didn’t have much support from church, or family and financially we just didn’t have a clue. Elijah: God’s warrior, was going to be very critical the very SECOND he was born. After a lot of research we chose to have a 3 stage repair done on Elijah’s heart…and so began our journey!

Elijah was born June 30th, 2006. He was beautiful! Picture perfect on the outside. We were in love! He had his first surgery on July 9th. The sight of our newborn child laying on a full sized stretcher was the most overwhelming thing in the world. The feelings are so indescribable. Wires, medications, tubes, life support, this poor innocent child lay lifeless on a bed. Then again at 4 months on November 2...the same smells, sights, feelings, and overwhelming emotions all over again.

During these first months, including the remainder of the pregnancy our family was falling apart. Our marriage was crumbling, Hannah and Travis were pretty neglected by us and you could tell that they felt like they were invisible…life was complete chaos! We were time bombs waiting to explode! It never seemed to stop. We always fought, there was never enough money, and the kids made us crazy! We felt like our beautiful son was such a burden. He made life so difficult which made us more angry and more sad. Our life was consumed by doctor’s and medicines and hospitals. We realized that it was time to find a church. We started attending the Freedom Center when Elijah was about 9 months old…just on and off at first. Our cousin Melissa kept on us about coming and finally we just gave in. We still weren’t going regularly and it was like we just went to go for a long time. Then finally we started getting more involved. Life was beginning to look up. We were finally getting some normalcy with all of the kids. We weren’t at the hospital as much. Elijah wasn’t so sick. We were still having a TON of marital problems and decided that we should go to the marriage retreat. We met some amazing couples there…Pastor Ben and Rachel, Pastor Adam and Brooke, and many others that it felt like God had just placed in our path that weekend. We also met our future e-group leaders Chris and Alise McAleer and really connected with them.

Fast forward about 3 months…we go in for Elijah’s heart cath to see how he is doing and find out that surgery # 3 is pretty necessary and soon! We were hoping to wait another year but plan’s changed. We knew that things were changing…he was having more blue periods, more tiredness, and more episodes of losing his breath. HE had a artery that was very narrowed and needed fixed along with needing his Fontan (stage 3). We had no money and no vacation time, and were worried. Our e-group and many other friends rallied around us and did 2 huge fundraisers for us and raised enough money to allow Jason to take nearly 2 weeks off! We had never experienced support like this and it was overwhelming! But oh, did Satan try with all of his might to destroy everything that was happening. Our whole group had everything from high tension, to bad weather, Jason and I wanting to divorce, even the extreme loss of a long awaited pregnancy…but we all kept trudging through for God’s glory.

So, on Wed August 6th of this year Elijah had surgery # 3. It was the hardest of all 3. He was not just this little baby any longer. He was our Elijah…he walked, he talked, he had a personality, and he loved with his whole heart. The surgical waiting doors open and you can smell the anesthesia…a smell that will always be a memory, we had to sit him in that wagon and watch him wheeled down the long hallway. We are both sick by now. Feeling as though we are going to pass out. We couldn’t move…just stand there and watch as they walk away with our child. Finally we go to the waiting room and are greeted by family, and friends. Which was different for us. The prior surgeries our family was there…but it was quiet and sad. This time we were SURROUNDED by people and we were sad, but when anyone saw the sadness or fear in our faces they quickly stepped in and prayed. They made us smile. They made an unbearable situation a lot more bearable.

Surgery was complete, and slowly our friends went home to their families. It was just us and Mom and Dad. We took turns staying at Elijah’s side. But things quickly went downhill and from bad to worse. Elijah was very critical…a call was made to our cousin Missy and friend Dawn which caused a domino effect of more calls and texts to go out and prayers began even harder for Elijah. People turned around and came back. Many people stayed until nearly 3 am so that we were not alone.

Elijah remained very critical for 5 days and on Sunday he took a real bad turn. He got an infection in his lungs. His BP wouldn’t hold. It was dropping. His oxygen saturations were dropping. We were told that there wasn’t much more they could do. We again made a phone call…which again, caused more calls and texts to go out and the prayers began even harder. The next morning Pastor Jim, Pastor Ben, and Jordan show up to pray over Elijah. Just interceding. It was a relief…to have people there again. We had family there, but the tension was very thick. We were all stressed and feeling it. We were finally breaking.

Pat and Teresa Brady come up a little later and prayed and prayed and prayed. I remember them praying over the hospital and the nurses and than just demanding healing. Demanding that our son make it. We needed to see certain #’s on the monitor for Elijah’s blood pressure and the pressure in his arteries and Pat began demanding those #’s and after a few minutes they rose. He would demand a number even higher and within a few minutes there it was. He just pleaded with Jesus for healing and to show us that he was working in little Elijah’s body . After about 45 minutes of prayer and seeing that the #’s had remained we left to allow other’s to come in and see. The next day we were holding our son! It was bittersweet! He turned around so quickly.
We met many families during this hospital stay. Single mom’s there all alone. Angry couples that reminded us of our prior surgeries, and other Christian’s that amazed us with their faith. Because of all of the kindness and generosity shown to us we were able to pay it forward and bless a couple of families there that had NOTHING. We were able to buy them some groceries, a little toy for a baby, give a little cash for lodging and gas and buy a hopeless couple a Bible! We were able to witness to them and point out scripture that may help them in the times that they felt hopeless. They were not Christian’s and had never owned a Bible. Their Little baby Colten was very sick. He passed away after a week and they came to us to help them through it. They came to us to pray with them and cry to. It was one of the greatest experiences we took from the hospital.

We were still surrounded by family and friends for the remainder of the stay. We had a lot of great conversation and great fellowship. We had mini bible studies (well just good support scriptures for us). We were brought meals, we were handed “extra cash” to help out, we were brought so many gifts that it filled our van. We had a whole month at the Med Inn paid for by an organization so we didn’t have to worry about where we would sleep or clean up… and the prayers and messages just never stopped. The amount of love that poured out to us and Elijah was incredible.

Elijah battled many other things while at the hospital…severe withdrawl, infections, PICC line insertion, fluid build up, tubes pulling out, and having 5 chest tubes replaced, a second surgery, and more dressing changes than I can count. He became terrified of people. He still has anxiety around strangers…but he is here! He is happy and doing better than ever! He is running and talking like crazy. He is finally starting to eat good again. He has graduated from physical therapy, occupational therapy, and no longer requires biweekly pediatrician appointments to check his weight, BP and oxygen sats. He is only on one diuretic once a day and a baby aspirin every M, W, & F. He doesn’t need to go back to cardiology until January. He is in the beginning stages of potty training and is finally drinking from a cup so he will be broke from a bottle soon. He is a happy healthy 2 ½ year old little boy. And this is all because of God’s grace and love for us and our son along with a whole lot of prayers from a whole lot of awesome people.


We are so thankful for the love that God has for our family and thankful that He is a forgiving God and can forgive the times when we don’t have faith in Him or get angry with Him. We are thankful that by the grace of God we pulled through this surgery TOGETHER as a couple without anger and bitterness towards each other like the previous surgeries. We didn’t allow satan to destroy our marriage or our relationship with the Lord. WE are thankful that when we began to get discouraged God put people at the hospital to lift us up without us even having to ask for them to come. We are thankful that Jesus died for our son’s healing. We are so thankful for our marriage and our children…all 3 of them. We are thankful that God opened our eyes and revealed to us the beautiful gift He in placed in our family by blessing us with this special child. We are so very thankful for God allowing Elijah’s life to remain here with us. Thank you all so much for your kindness, your generosity, and most of all your love to us.

My hope for all of you!

I hope that you all have a great Thanksgiving! I am very thankful for so much this year. I am really excited as this holiday season has now begun! We love you all and are so thankful to have met all of you. Your friendship means the world to us! I hope you all can reflect on so much that has made you thankful this year! I hope you can all relax and have a blessed day! Love to you all!
Becca

Sick kiddo's

For the most part all is going well in the Palmer household. We have been couped up all week because ALL...yes ALL of the kids are sick as well as Jason. I started getting a sore throat early this week, but as a mom I cannot afford to be sick so I think I talked myself out of it! The boys have nasty colds and there asthma is on the fritz! They are getting treatments every 4 hours and Traivs is on steroids to get his controlled. Hannah has strep throat pretty bad. She is having a lot of throat/neck pain from it. BUT-they are all being troopers. They are very tough when they are sick. The hardest part of all of it is that they are a bit whiney! They are bored and I think have a bit of cabin fever from being stuck in the house so long.

AS for me...I have a girls date on Saturday (very much deserved I think). I am very excited! I love my cousin so much! She always knows just when a evening away is needed and always makes it a point to whisk me away before my mind explodes...LOL!

I had a very busy weekend last weekend. I started selling Tastefully Simple a couple of months ago and I had 3 parties last weekend...one Fri night and 2 on Saturday (1pm and 7pm). It was a lot of fun. I am hoping that it picks up soon. I really enjoy doing the parties and meeting people. It has actually given me a lot of self esteem back. I am able to leave for a few hours and be around other women and it is nice. I am able to witness to people and share my testimony and it feels really good!

Well, that is about all for now. Please just pray for a healthy house!

Oh below is a cool little thing I came across. It is kind of old so you may have read it before...but I like it!


HANDY LITTLE CHART-

YOU SAY GOD SAYS

You say: "It's impossible" God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired" God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me" God says: I love you
(John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: "I can't go on" God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out" God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it" God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able" God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it" God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself" God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage" God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid" God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm worried & frustrated" God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I'm not smart enough" God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone" God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)

too quiet for too long!

I haven't posted in a bit because I have just been really quiet! It is time that I speak up and share my heart a little. I have been trying to deal with some "issues" that have been going on in me and I have to say it isn't going great. The HUGEST issue (which is a combination of SEVERAL little issues all rolled up into this one huge, massive issue) presented itself to me about a month ago, full force in my face! I cannot get into a ton of details, but we (Jason and I) need a TON of prayers right now...for guidance, direction, healing both emotionally (depression) and physically (weight, addictions, and girl health stuff) and for God's hand in our marriage...please especially this. I have realized that hiding from "stuff" instead of dealing with the "stuff" isn't resolving anything! It is just making the problems much larger than they should be. So I come here today to ask for help from all of our friends and family that read our blog. We don't want sympathy, we aren't expecting anyone to feel sorry for us...we just need your prayers. We need you to step up and intercede and pray for us. It is really hard for us right now and we really need you all. Please help us storm the gates of heaven on behalf of Jason and I. I know you all have prayed a ton for our family but we really need you all.

Thank you all so much...we appreciate you guys! The kids are great by the way. The boys have pretty big coughs but other than that all is well with all of them!

Love,
Becca

Is it really important?

How can you feel like yo are blessing someone if the blessing you are handing out is done with expectations attached? Is it really a blessing to someone or yourself if, in the long run the blessing has offended you? If you are going to bless someone, or other's are going to bless someone...than bless them. Don't do it with expectations. Don't do it because it is what everyone else is doing. Don't do it if it makes you unhappy. Don't do it so the person will do something for you in return. Those are not blessings. It is not a blessing, especially to the person on the receiving end, to feel "obligated" or forced to do something in return. It is not a blessing to have a situation forced on you. It is not a blessing to know that help was given with strings attached.

This last 2 weeks I have been beaten up pretty bad, or so it feels that way. I have had to be in "defense mode" again all this week. I need to set the record straight once and for all and I think I may upset people by this...but at this point, I think it is necessary. Twice this week I have had things thrown in my face as to what people have done for us. I have to say that I think it is horrible to do things for people and A) expect something in return and B) use it against the person in hurtful ways.

Once again, I thank EVERYONE that stepped in and helped us while Elijah was in the hospital...which there were so many people that did help us by giving their time sitting with us, with kind thoughts and concern, with millions of prayers, if you helped financially or brought us care packages, if you helped us with our kids, if you took care of my dog or checked our mail, if you brought us groceries or cooked us dinner...we appreciated EVERY single one of you. You ALL stepped up in such a horrible time for us and we can NEVER repay you. You ALL touched our hearts with you compassion. We love all of you and want you all to know that your place in our hearts is etched there FOREVER!

Now, like in the past we are having to defend ourselves. I was hoping that because we were in such a good place with God that we wouldn't be made to feel "guilty" during and after this surgery. I was hoping that we would make it through this time with ease, but that was not the case. Because last week and this week it has been brought to our attention what "has been done for us". I am FED UP WITH THIS! I don't want anything from anyone that i going to make me feel guilty in the long run. Call me rude for saying this. Call me ungrateful or whatever you would like. But just know that the people that are doing this are tearing our heart into pieces. It makes us feel as though you helped because yo were "obligated" to do so, and we never wanted anyone to feel obligated. We never really wanted help in the first place. It is awful to feel like you need help, to know that you have to take charity. Do you know what it is like to have a whole community, and your whole family know that you cannot take care of your own problems? We never wanted this because we didn't want to be the "needy family" and we didn't want the past to repeat itself. We didn't want the people we love the most to make us feel like we "owed" them or we weren't thankful enough or we "used" them.

I love to help people. I love to give back. I love to make people smile. Do I like to do things because I feel forced...NO! Did I take every opportunity I could to bless others while we were there...we sue did! As Christians, that is our JOB! That is what God expects of us. As Christians are we still trying to bless as many people as we can today...we sure are! It is still our job! It is up to us and God how and when those blessings shine. Please, if you bless us and you are just going to steal your blessings back...we don't want them in the first place. The blessings that others gave us are OURS...not yours...please don't try to rob us of those.

We love you all, and I apologize if this has upset you...but is it really so important to throw the past in our faces? Is it more important to bless someone and allow them to be blessed or is it more important to bless them for the sole purpose of getting something in return? Was all of this worth the way Jason and I feel today?

Happy Birthday Hannah!

Hannah,

My little Pumpkin Princess! Oh my goodness, I cannot believe that today you are 7 years old...you are growing up so fast. I remember seeing your beautiful face at 9:13 AM thinking WOW! You were so pretty! You had the biggest chipmunk cheeks I had ever seen. When they wrapped you up in a blanket you looked like a little Indian papoose! On that day almost 7 years ago exactly you made me who I am right now, you made me a Mommy! You Miss Hannah, made me a better person! You taught me what real, true, and unconditional love really is! I am so glad that God blessed me with you! I think he gave me the best little girl there is!

Thank you so much for being such an amazing little person! I am of proud of you! You are growing into the sweetest little girl. Your heart amazes me every day! You have such a sparkle in your eyes and a fire in your heart. You love your family and friends with that same unconditional love that you taught me 7 years ago. I hope that you always stay who you are and know that God created you PERFECT! You are His masterpiece and my prayer is that you will always know that...I cannot wait to see where God is going to take you sweet girl!

I love you so much Hannah, and I hope you have a great birthday and a great year!

Love,
Mommy

Sucess so far...

Okay, so in the past when I have dieted I always have weighed myself every other day or so. This time I have decided that I am only going to weigh in once a week to avoid the discouragement of not seeing a #. Well, I am very pleased to report that today was my weigh in day and I have lost 6 pounds this week! I am so excited. That is the size Elijah when he was born! A newborn baby is off of me...HOORAY! I have battled through dinner/movie night, a birthday party (with pizza, breadsticks, cake, and elephant ear sundaes) and also e-group on Tuesday with gravy and biscuits, eggs, cinnimon rolls, and chocolate chip cookies! To top that, I have had a lot happen this week as far as "emotional stuff" that could have easily sent me spiraling downwards but I stood strong in God and for His glory I respected my body...His temple.
This might be silly to some of you, but to me this is a huge victory! I still have a VERY long road ahead of me with this and I know it is going to be VERY difficult at times. I just believe that I am so determined that "today is the day", that I am going to get throug this and I am going to get healthy! Please just continue to be in prayer for me for this. Any encouragement and ideas are greatly appreciated. Any yummy low fat recipes would be helpful.
Thanks so much for your prayers so far...I will do this!
Much love!

HSM3...date night!

Well...today was Mommy & daughter night and man-o-man was it F-U-N! It was really great hanging out with my little girl tonight. We don't get a whole lot of time to ourselves and sometimes I think it bothers Hannah. So it was awesome to just get to be together and focus all of my attention on her. It was great to see her smiling and being her silly self! She is such a great kid! We got to go see High School Musical 3. Our friends Alise and her daughter Eve went and so did Dawn an her little twin Kennedy. THE GIRLS HAD A BLAST (I think us Moms had just as much fun as the girls just getting to be silly)! It was so exciting to me to see all the girls so giddy and excited! It was a lot of fun hanging out with them all! We had the opportunity to get a quick/cheap dinner (because we are all about cheap!) and go pick up a few party supplies for the PARTY tomorrow as well!

Hannah is getting ready to turn 7 and I just cannot believe it! She is growing up so fast. I feel like time is slipping away and I am missing so much. I miss her being a little snuggle bug. I miss being able to dress her up in the little ruffles and lace! She is such a beautiful little girl and I hope she knows how special she is to me! I am so proud of the person she is. She is so curious about God and loves school and friends. She loves to sing and dance...she is going to be a rock star someday is what she says! She makes me smile! I love her so much...

anyway...here are the pics from tonight! FUNNY STUFF!

Dinner...

Waiting in line for the movie...FOREVER! Alise modeling the popcorn that she had waited all week for!

Our gangs goods! Yea it was all ours!

Slusheessss-YUM!

waiting some more and chowin down!

the girls taking pictures...still waiting and getting antsy!

Wal-Mart fun...the PAPER TOWEL FORT!

Dawn was TIRED but still being silly!!!

And this too shall pass (I hope)...

Today has been a rough day a far as my "diet" goes! I have really struggled to stay on top of it! Remember me saying that I drown my frustrations in food? Well, Satan is right on top of that one today, don't ya know?!? I received a VERY upsetting e-mail last night from someone who for the last 3 years has been very dear to my heart...basically telling me that her and "others" have realized that I am basically greedy and make people feel sorry for me and feel obligated to help my family! Grrrr...I was/am very upset by the e-mail and just the fact that A) these women are talking about me behind my back B) that these women are giving false information about me and C) that they are judging me!

There have been many things done for our family this summer, especially because of many people at the church and man-o-man are we FOREVER grateful for EACH BLESSING that was bestowed on us. Did we want to need help...of course not. Was there much else we could do rather than accept it, with a TON of humility, no there wasn't. I just pray that everyone that helped us knows that we really needed the help and really genuinely appreciate it with every ounce of GRATITUDE inside our hearts. I am sorry that I never sent out a formal thank you. I hope that we never made people feel like they "had to help" or that we accepted your generosity when we didn't need it. I am really annoyed that I feel like I have to defend myself against this gossip. I want you all to know that because of your kindness and generosity to our family and the help of an organization helping us pay for the hotel we were able to help bless several different families while Elijah was in the hospital. You all helped us to buy them groceries, provide a little shelter for them and even Bible's. Because of your help and kindness towards us we learned how to witness to people and were able to do that more times than I can even remember. We were able to sit with a family after they had just lost their newborn son and get them through the night. THEY CAME TO US FOR COMFORT...WOW GOD! I am not telling you all of this for recognition or a pat on the back. I actually haven't told many people this at all because I didn't want to sound like I was bragging or proud. But I just want you all to know that with your help you not only helped us, but helped 3 other families as well! We were able to pay it forward,and it felt amazing! Thank you again! I just wish that you all knew me well enough to know that I am very NOT greedy! I have always, my whole life been a giver...I love to give! I cannot always do it, but when I can I do it with pleasure!


I have been praying my way through this and I know I will get through this day...this too shall pass! I just get really upset when people are unhappy with me, like physically ill at times. It is bad. I am a pleaser and want to always make people happy. I have been able to stay focused so far and haven't wandered away from the diet...can you just help pray me through this day! And one more favor, if any of you have an "issue" with something I am doing...before you judge me, have the courage and decency to question my actions!

Please pray with us...

I have struggled with my weight my whole life and I AM DONE!!!! I finally rallied the courage to step on the scale today and just about lost my breakfast in disgust! I need to lose 100 pounds! Yea, you did read that right...100 pounds! I am so ANGRY at myself that if I could, I would kick myself in the head! I could give a list of excuses as to "why" my weight has gotten so out of control...stress, always being on the go, being at the hospital so much...but those ARE NOT the reasons why! This is MY FAULT, and I have to own this problem so that I can finally get it under control. I have put myself at a HUGE risk for diabetes, high blood pressure/cholesterol, stroke, heart attack and DEATH-all the while having a child that never asked to be born with a heart condition. I peach at Jason all the time about smoking because he is killing himself, but look what I am doing...I am killing myself! What the heck is wrong with me??? I am eating myself into a very young death! Why do I need to drown my sorrows and boredom and fears and frustrations in food? Because I am weak. Please don't misunderstand this blog...I am by no means, in a PITY PARTY mode...I am angry and determined and need to be honest with myself; and by telling all of you this I am also telling myself. I have got to change my life. I have got to start excercising more, eating better, drinking more water...I have to do this for my kids, my husband, myself, and God!

Jason and I have been doing the whole "life style change" all week and have been doing it with SUCCESS! It is so difficult, and so EXPENSIVE. We are changing what we eat, drink and do. I have not had any soda (diet coke) or tea since Sunday! I went grocery shopping and got fresh fruits and veggies to cook with and snack on. I know that with the help of God we can do this! We have to!

I am asking all of you, if you will just help us to stay focused and on track. If you see stuff on sale will you just let me know. Please help by encouraging us, and most importantly PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR SUCCESS!

Thanks for reading this...and helping us in anyway you can!

God works in crazy ways...

So last night, Jason's car broke down on his way home from work. He was stranded in Pickney until an old friend of his that lives out there came and rescued him. After a couple hours of tinkering around with it they had to leave it out there because it wouldn't hold any electrical charge. Well our friend Ken Smith came out and met us and went out to get the car and then followed us back to my Mom's house to look at it. Turns out that his alternator went out.

If you read yesterday's post you had read that we have struggles in our financial dept (who doesn't right now, right?) Anyway, with us trying to move we are trying so hard to get credit card debt paid off and get some savings built up. As most of you know, we passed A WHOLE LOT of tests this summer...many with flying colors. Satan has attacked us in our marriage, with our friends, with our child and we WON. We have stayed faithful to our God! Well, we had absolutely NO money to do this repair on his car at all, so we were going to have to use the credit card we JUST got paid off to fix it. We were very bummed and upset about it. Jasonwas really angry all morning and as the minutes passed I watched his anger get worse and worse and worse! He was MAD! Finally I looked at him and asked him what good all the anger was doing him...it was making him physically sick, that is what it was doing to him!

So before we left today to begin our excursion, I had him stop so I could check the mail because God works in crazy ways...somehow when we think we are at our witts end and finances are making us crazy, money just "shows up". Nothing...the mail hadn't ran yet. So we went and did our business and after we got all done we stopped at the bus stop to pick Hannah up and I told him I needed to check the mail. So we did! And low and behold...for some reason we got another SSI (disability check) check for Elijah this month. We normally only get one on the 1st of the month, but a few times have gotten them just randomly if they have underpaid us. Well I showed him the envelope an he said "are you kidding me,were yo expecting that?" I HAD NO IDEA...NO PLANS FOR ANOTHER CHECK! I opened it up and it will more than cover the work on the car! No needto use our credit card! WOW GOD! Can you believe it? God really takes care of us all of the time! He is always looking out for us! Jason was WOWED...he was blown away...all I could say to him was didn't I tell you??? God is tricky like that! He makes us worry for a sec and then shows us that he will provide as long as we lean on HIM and not our own understanding!

That is it, just had to share how awesome God is...off to e-group...later gator's!

Trying to grow...

So, Jason and I have really been praying for "growth" among many other things that will change ourlife together very DRASTICLY. We really want to move forward on our walk with God. We don't feel like we are fulfilling what He wants from us. We have known that He wants us to "do" something in the church for a long time, but we just aren't sure what that something is. It is really frustrating at times because we know that there there is a calling on our lives, we just cannot get the answer on what it is. And the other thing about it is that we are so darn far away! Sometimes we feel really disconnected with everyone because of it. We want so badly to be involved in more things at church, but than the financial issue always pops up and it dampens everything...we need to MOVE and Jason needs his long awaited and overdue RAISE!!! For those of you that don't know, we have been praying to move out there for about 4 years now! We love Fenton/Linden and we feel that is where we belong. We have been approved for a mortgage, but we need to sell our home we are currently in and also we want to wait until the spring so that we can pay off our credit card debt first.
I guess my purpose for this post is just to ask for prayer...we need it. Prayer to be shown our purpose, prayer for God's will, prayer for finances, and prayer for our perfect house!
Thanks everyone...lots of love!

HOLY COW!!!

Today, as I sat and held Elijah in my arms kissing and hugging on him...I just thanked God! At first in my head...just praising Him for my little boy. Thanking Him for how far we have come. Thanking him for getting Elijah through 3 open heart surgeries, and back home. Thanking him that now just 2 short months after surgery he is walking, talking, laughing, playing, eating, and being such an amazing little person! Thanking Him that now 8 weeks later he is on just a simple aspirin 3 times a week and lasix. Than I began to thank Him out loud...THANK YOU GOD! YOU ARE SO FAITHFUL! And then all of the sudden this little wonder, the little miracle resting in my arms looks up and says with a smile "gank gu God!" How awesome is that!!!

It has been 2 months today since I had to sit him in that wagon and watch him be wheeled away down that cold hallway that smells so strong of that "hospital" anestesia/sterile smell. I remember standing there with my hand over my mouth feeling like I couldn't move. Numb! I wanted to run down the hall and sweep him out of that wagon and whisk him right out of the hospital as Jason pulled me into his arms and I broke! I will never forget that moment. It was like time froze. It is forever in my head. That was the single most difficult thing I have ever done...and I have had to do it 3 times, but this time-August 6, 2008, was the most difficult! They were all horrible, don't get me wrong but this time Elijah was different. He was him. He was a little person. He was pretty "normal". Unlike the other times when he was SO sick and I knew if he didn't get the repair we would lose him. And I am thankful! Thankful that we traveled the journey. Thankful that we made it. Thankful that we didn't listen to the lies of the enemy. Thankful that we listened to God's truth and knew that Elijah had and does have a purpose! Thankful that we are DONE! His repair is complete! He won't need another surgery for MANY MANY years...God willing! My heart is just leaping right now with thanks. I have my little boy...my strong little boy! He is here for me to kiss and hug everyday and I am so thankful.

We have learned so many things on this journey. we have grown in so many ways in the last 3 years. We have been tested so many times. We have been helpless and hopeless at times. We have felt lost. We have even thrown in the towel at times. One thing we didn't do though was lose God...He never let us go! He held us, carried us, cried for us, He was there! He never let us down and until this surgery we didn't realize that. We didn't understand "why"...but we didn't need to. God knows why. He chose us for a reason and we have realized that his choice for our lives are a treasure...a blessing! God blessed us with this life! God blessed me and my husband with this amazing little boy that was going to need the strength of both of us. He chose us to teach Elijah. He chose us to do the right things for him...He chose us to walk this road, to travel this journey to glorify Him. To let His love, and His light shine through us. All of us-Jason, me, Hannah, Travis, Elijah-we all have grown closer to God through this storm. We, His babies, His treasures, have made God so proud. We walked the path He chose for us and tredged our way through. We obeyed, we remained steadfast in our faith and our beliefs. So today, this day...means a lot! It means that we got our reward. Our reward of this little boy who sits in my lap and says with so much joy "gank gu God"! I have to say...I feel like the luckiest Mommy in the world and I too say THANK YOU GOD! I hope I have made you proud!

this chapter began...

Thanks for stopping back by our blog. WE hope you all are doing well and enjoying your week.

So today the jouney began again. Elijah went in for all of his pre-surgery work. ECHO, EKG, x-ray, bloodwork, cardiology, anestesia...EVERYTHING checked out wonderfully! So, we are all set for surgery in the am at 7:30. We have to be at the hospital at 6:15 and he will go on call between 6:30 and 7 am. Everyone that comes will have the chance to see him for a few minutes and then he will go in!

It has been a very difficult week. A rollercoaster ride actually. My emotions have been all over the place. But, I have to say that today jason and I both are doing okay so far. We are trying so hard not to panic and are succeeding as of right now. Later may be a different story! For now though we are just hanging with the kids and having fun together.
Don't forget to check out Elijah's carepage for updates throughout the day tomorrow and his recovery. The page is www.carepages.com and his page name is EliPalmer. That is the BEST way to stay up to speed on all of the excitment with him.

Well, I am gonna go for now. I want to spend some time with my kiddos!

the countdown begins...

Okay, well first of all...welcome to our family blog! I hope that you all enjoy hearing about our family!



We had an awesome time with our friends earlier. We got to hang out with a huge group from church and meet a lot of new people and just hang out at a picnic. It was actually a real blessing for us. Very much needed right now! Tensions are high...stress is outrageous. It was really fun to just chat and watch the kids just get filthy and play. Elijah was so covered in watermelon and popsicle and dirt that is was insane, but they all LOVED every second of it. I got a few pictures and will share them later.



So, the countdown is ON...7 days to go! Elijah's surgery is very quickly approaching. We have been in heavy prayer this week for health for the family and also for the obvious-a successful surgery. Things have been incredibly tense and irritable in our house but we are getting through it. I really don't think that Elijah has the slightest clue that anything is even going on right now. We try not to show any negative emotions in front of him or the kids, though at times it is impossible. Hannah and Travis ask about it EVERY day. They are nervous and scared. They pray for him every meal, and every night. It is very sweet. They worry about us being gone/apart for so long. And Hannah last night walked right up to Elijah and looked at him and said "Elijah, I love you & I don't want you to die." My heart broke! They love Elijah so much. My kids amaze me with the things they say and the things they know. They are all so sweet!



A lot of people ask if we need anything...today, right now, the best thing for us is prayer! Pray for Elijah, for health and success, for our family and for Hannah and Travis. Pray for sanity over the next few days!